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a collection

by Cadiecowden

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1.
we chased thru the trees outside of your house fell to pieces on the ground next to your dog who wouldn't stop kissing me like i wish you didn't stop kissing me
2.
i just want to let u know yr rly fuckin cool i just wanna hear u say "i think yr rly fucking cool. lets go to the library or somethin"
3.
i woke up to rain but i wish it were you twister in my head call a bluff on the surreal you call my name and pull me through time right back again pale green sheets pale like you raindrops are crystals on windows and presence is felt on the mind i dont care to watch clocks anymore
4.
windows '98 02:37
holy shit!!!!!!! i never thought this would happen spider web knuckles, my hands aren't clenched as fists i never thought i'd be so happy to be empty holding pens, i am blushing for the thought of wiping tears away from under your eyes on top of dark circles, like bruises on frail knees that are the result of the recurring thought of me i never thought i'd be so happy to be empty i never thought you'd be so unhappy to talk with me
5.
tore apart the rights, threw em in a campfire picture-framed the wrongs, mounted em on a wall under a decade-old bedroom set from a garage sale i felt hot, so i took my clothes off now i'm not, i'm fuckin freezing took myself and put me on the backburner
6.
interlude 00:31
i love you nard dog
7.
joint pain 01:49
you stopped being sad when i really left couldn't fix you, shoulda known that prime time meaningless conversations mapped out by your interruptions i was not allowed a single feeling thru this
8.
maybe baby 03:10
i fucking drove four hours to try to patch things up but its not like efforts were matched you were hung up on cheap alcohol and over the counter drugs we fucked around, went down to the city you were laughing under your breath at one of your nihilistic thoughts i never thought it would end up like this i wanted out of this twisted fiction of our simplistic fits he always said we would end up the same, put simply: you were always the opposite of me, until i turned out selfish, conceited, unforgiving. i spent all that i had left in my body stripped down to my skin i had nothing left to feel like anything at all i never thought it would end up like this i wanted out of this shit i never thought you would end up like this i never thought i'd hear those words from you mitch
9.
right/write 01:21
i can't stop daydreaming about how you ask me to sit by you and read you to sleep but its not like i can now. i don't want to think about how i can't right now. i can't write now.
10.
the last thing i sent to you was a message "never fucking talk to me again" maybe i'm a bit too stubborn i could be less selfish but i don't like that you talk about me like that we both said it wouldn't end this way well it did "i promise not to let you walk away" but you left and i stayed the same and you didn't think i would stay the same I FIGURED I WOULD SURPRISE YOU FOR YOUR STUPID FUCKING BIRTHDAY but i was smarter by that may.
11.
found a home for myself in the ground talk too much think too heavy finally rest easy fuck up more than just words pull apart good intentions i thought i knew how to fix this but i'm usually wrong

about

this record is about my feelings and how i have a lot of them.

credits

released November 24, 2014

jacob garver listened to me conceptualize for months and i will never be able to repay him with enough baja blast to express my gratitude.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Cadiecowden Missouri

just a person who cries during confrontation

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